Relax. Be Frugal. Be different.

For whatever reason–(oh, probably being advertised to since I was an infant) I’ve equated “success” with “stuff.”   Having a good suit, a nice house, a nice car, all were the visible signs of being successful.  Even getting involved with the community of self improvement people didn’t help–there is an acute “stuff orientation” there  (Get a mercedes, get a new house, etc).

When I made a “goals board,” it was full of stuff.

But stuff doesn’t make you happy–it increase your stress.

I’ve always earned a six figure income (with the exception of last year, where I took a dive by changing jobs something like 5 times).  My net worth is probably still negative (added to google notebook: get financial software up and cranking).

“Stuff maintanance” is expensive.  Eating out–going to restaurants and getting mediocre food for too much money is expensive.

Living in a highly consumerist society is expensive,  demoralizing, hollow, sad, and it puts more stress and apprehension on people than they should bear.   It’s not necessary to have ‘the trappings’ of success.

It’s not necesary to own a house.

It’s not necessary to own a car.

It’s not necessary to get coffee at Starbucks, lunch at Panera, or anything like it.

I found “the simple dollar” about a month ago, when I started with Google reader. It gives smart, thoughtful, successful people PERMISSION to divorce thrift from failure.  I used to think that the reason someone would drive a Geo Prizm was that they were failing at life.  No, not really.  People can
That’s not necessarily the case–it’s rare, but not impossible to be in this category.  The Millionaire Next Door had the notion that the most common vehicle of net worth 1-5 millionaires was  a Ford F-150.

Buying and maintaining and having “stuff,” and being “stuff” oriented is for suckers.  I am going to eschew consumerism whenever possible, and not do it with a lick of concern for what people think of me.  I’m doing it to keep my stress down.

Before making a financial decision think:

• Will this make it EASIER or HARDER to give money to my church & my  special causes.
• Will this save time.
• Will this make it easier or harder to save for retirement.
• Can I put this off and enjoy the same lifestyle.
• Will this make it easier or harder to do my job.

There are other questions to develop along these lines.

Take stuff personally.

In the book “Catch-22,” the lead character (Yosarian) gets more and more offended by the Germans.  He is at war, and he takes it very personally that they are shooting at him.  An exchange:

“They’re shooting at EVERYBODY, Sir,”

“Yes, but they are shooting at ME!”

Companies don’t give a rip about you, they want your money, no matter what it costs you.  No matter if it costs you sanity, overdraft fees, whatever, they want your cash.   This is something YOU need to be offended by, not just accept.  If you responded to even a TENTH of the marketing…you’d be absolutely stressed and broke.

Financial Freedom is:

• Living a lifestyle that doesn’t require a lot of money.
• Being viciously frugal.
• Getting out of debt.
• Saving money ALL THE TIME, no matter what it hurts.
• Giving money away because it no longer has a hold on you.
• connecting gross income required with monthly budget.

It isn’t:

• Having a $600/month car payment.
• Having a budget so fragile that you can’t miss a a day of work without feeling it.
• Avoiding reality (often by spending).
• Avoiding preparation
• Spending future money before it’s earned.  (Generally, if you’re older than 26, you should stop going into debt for unsecured items, and REALLY think about what benefit a car payment will do for you.)

Anyway, Go Read “The Simple Dollar,” and go synthesize this information for yourself.  Being thrifty doesn’t mean you’ve failed.