What has self righteousness cured, ever?
More specifically, how many times has someone’s personal self righteousness won you over in an argument? Is there anything an more repelling than self righteousness? Is there anything that has been accomplished?
Self righteousness is a trick that clouds our perception of everything. Instead of focusing on maximizing pleasure, we focus on making someone else wrong. It’s a natural inclination for us–really. Instead of making the problem better, and working in reality-land, we work on the ideal behavior from someone else.
This makes us the victim. Some examples:
- Why should I have to do her dishes.
- You always over react.
- He always says things like that.
- I’ve never been treated this way (i.e. “don’t you know who I am”)
All of this self righteousness comes from the idea that we are victims. We are the ones that are pure and noble, and the other person (spouse/whatever) needs to clean up their act. But chances are–we’re not blameless. Chances are, we’re screwed up, flawed works in progress.
So how do we get past the flood that makes us get into self righteous land? How do we improve our minds to the point where we don’t feel the egotistical need to make others wrong? How do we understand that the very thought of self righteousness diffuses our effectiveness? What can we do about it? How can we hold one another accountable without self righteousness?
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Also: Abraham Lincoln’s unsent letter to Meade. I remembered this as being more Self Righteous than it was, but truly, it’s not.
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