Yesterday afternoon, about 3pm, I get a phone call.
Me: “Hello, this is Chris.”
“Is this Chris Johnson?”
“Yes, this is.”
“This is Rusty Skills*–I sold you your minivan last year.”
This was true–I recognized his voice, and I bought a new-to-us minivan from him in December of ‘06. The experience was quick, relatively painless, we didn’t negotiate hard, and we’re reasonably satisfied with the price, terms and service. Not ‘thrilled,’ but satisfied. I didn’t feel like I’d been ripped off.
“So how are you?” he asks…and without hesitating, “Is the van runnin’ good, is everything ok?”
He didn’t give a rat’s ass. Could hear it in his voice. He was softening me up for something. Wanted to sell me something. That kind of ham fisted approach–if it ever worked–was obsolete. And I didn’t even hate this guy. He was who he was.
“Can I help you with something,” I said, wanting to get to the pitch.
Being a low-end type A, he said, “Well, how are you,” more emphatically. I was COMMANDED to answer. I had to BEND TO PLEASANTRIES. I guess he was trained to get me to answer. No dice. I can DiSC with the best of ‘em.
“Did you call to chit chat–or did you need something?” I’m still friendly at this point, and I’m also a little bit curious. Maybe he did call after 15 months, to chit chat. Maybe he was bored, and remembered my wife and I. Maybe he wanted me to testify at the Department of commerce. However, there was no edge or annoyance in my voice. I wasn’t going to make friends with a three hundred pound chain smoking used car salesman in his late fifties. He wasn’t going to be my dinner companion.
So, anyway, he chimes in: “Well, you don’t have to be rude.”
This is enough for me to end the call. My curiosity is satisfied.
…
Now, he does this all day long. What a miserable job.
…
How Are You? No, Really.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
NOBODY is fooled by someone that doesn’t know you that asks how you are. For me, it makes me tense. “You don’t know me, you don’t care yet,” comes to mind. Or, in Godinease: You don’t have PERMISSION to ask yet. Really, as a Realtor and Mortgage guy, an uncaring person trying to pitch me something has asked me ‘how I am,’ twice a week for damn near ten years.
Betcha none of ‘em care. That question–asked by a stranger–sets them off as someone who wants something. From me. Disingenuous and offensive.
But…I’m not offended by someone wanting to make a living, especially if they want to help.
So, if the guy had said, “Hi, Chris, This is Rusty Skills. I sold you your car last year, and we just got another minivan on the lot that I think is a good deal, it’s about $9500, and it has….”
It’s still push marketing, but it’s honest push marketing. I’m not offended by a stranger trying to invade my space. And, he’s given me something of value–a good deal on a new car. He’s gotten to the point, and either i’m in or I’m out. If I’m out, I’m not personally rejecting him, so his psyche stays intact for the next call. I’m just not currently in need of a car. No big deal, but I might tell him what I AM interested in (right now, it’s a low mileage Diesel Jetta or Passat)…and from integrit
Rapport Does Nothing Without Value
Look, I like rapport. I like talking to people as much as the next guy. But how many times has someone OBVIOUSLY been trying to ingratiate themselves upon you? Is there anything more repulsive than a stranger trying to get you to like them? Especially if they have bad intentions. Think about a hot chick at a bar, and her (justified) reaction to the drooling Neanderthals surrounding her. Hell no, they don’t deserve a chance. There is nothing more repulsive than someone trying to get you to like them without having good intentions. You must earn the right to be liked by giving value. And we have AWESOME b.s. detectors. There is no problem with mirroring mimicking and matching.
But seriously–rapport is second to value. Our culture KNOWS you’re selling something. And so there’s no sneaking up on people without sincerity.
*DERN close to his name.
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