A dad's advice to himself and his kids.

Jack & Ruby,

Approval is control, even mine.  Withholding approval to coerce behavior is the lowest thing a parent can do.  I’ll do the best that I can to never do it to you–because you need me to have your back.   Don’t seek approval, and become indifferent to the approval of others.  I feigned indifference to others most of my life.  And because I did it caused me to lie, it weakened me. I was desperate to be approved of, and I had no sense of self.  I would try anything, do anything, pander like a fool to get a laugh.  For what?  Nothing is more repugnant than dealing with someone that must make you like them. Nothing is more attractive than someone that has integrity, that is indifferent to what you think because they have declared who they are.

Approval is control: people use it to get you to do things you wouldn’t/couldn’t do.

Seeking it will make you crazy.

So don’t.

~Chris