The details don’t matter. Someone said to me the other day:
“Had this ever happened to you, you’d feel differently about it.”
She went on to say that her experience was unique and horrible, and had I lived it I would agree with her, and my experience was invalid because I hadn’t lived through an identical event. I was told I had no empathy and I was patronized and insulted.
For having a different opinion.
The wound was brought up as a method to control my opinion, and to excuse her behavior. This could have been anyone about most anything. We like to become victims. People that have been wounded as a means of exerting control over others. Because I’m wounded, you need to make considerations/pay reparations/walk on eggshells.
We’re not meant to control other people. We’re meant to work together in peace and harmony. This means that our poor experiences can’t be used as excuses to indulge in the darker thoughts and behaviors we all have. Encroaching on someone else is about the worst way to live
An arbitrary event that happened to you (that sucked) isn’t licenses to control the mind or actions of someone else. Weaponizing you wounds dehumanizes yourself, first and others later. Indulging the delusion that you are somehow unique and special…and excused from the productive work that you were meant for because something happens…is beneath the character that we have, the spark of the divine that is innate in all of us.
This is surely not the last time this happens to me. I just have to figure out a better response in the future. Being drawn into the insanity isn’t something that I care to permit myself to do again.