I’m a father and a dad.
A father is someone – to me – that biologically reproduces. Creates a child physiologically. A dad is someone that’s around, that loves his kid(s) and that makes some real sacrifices to make everything happen.
Some of the ideas that stem from that – flow to my identity are this:
- Would I be proud of my kids for behaving this way?
- Does this set a good example for them to model?
- Would I be ashamed if my kids saw me doing this (think: Biff/Willy Loman)?
- Is this the type of life that will lead to me providing options for my kids?
- Does this make things better for them?
Obviously, I’m not always money there. I’d like to think that “I live for my kids,” but obviously we truly don’t do that (here’s a hint: the people that make the biggest deal out of it fall short). I also think that…there is a balance. Being a self sacrificing Dad that puts all of my interests on the back is not congruent with sharing by example.
I think – a lot – that people that overdo it with the parenting are generally more likely to be poor parents.
For the most part, my folks were good folks, I was lucky to have them. I don’t see the world as they do.