When I had some friends move me from my “nice zipcode” 2600 square foot house to an, at best, mediocre, townhouse, my thought was “is this right?
Nobody I know would do this.” I was embarrassed for myself, and for GenuineWife that this wasn’t the correct thing to do. I was worried, “will these people think I’m a failure?” How stupid.
I had to deal with all kinds of idiocy:
“You’re crazy to start a business.”
“I can’t believe your jeoprodizing your family’s security.”
“You don’t know anything about the web.”
“You’re kind of a prick”
“It’s harder than you think.”
I heard this garbage 2 years ago when I mentally broke away from the mortgage company that I worked for. I heard it from people that were protecting their own self interests, that were afraid of facing the reality that the Mortgage industry was to be radically different than it is today. I pressed on only because I figured being a mortgage dude was, best case scenario, a bad life.
So, I cut damn near all my overhead, sold most of my possessions to have the cash. The wife and kids were scared. I cut the monthly living expenses from $5k to under $2200. Then I sold my car, sharing one car with Heather. She’s going to school full time during this. I had a couple of clients that were pretty steady, and I stayed about a half step away from disaster. Cutting everything (no cable, one car, no payments) was the only way that I could have done this.
The freedom that having $2800 less in money gone each month provided was the step that nobody would take. Remember: I had a six figure IRS debt staring me down. I had to earn money. But, the mortgage business, I saw as a dead letter. From the entitlementality of the customers to the regulatory hassles, to the fact that I never once saw myself as a “lifer” I knew I had to leave.
Otherwise, I’d be one of those frauds with a little ability and a dream.
A big talking, no account no action contemptable pudgy white guy with a lifetime of “almost hads,” “almost dids” and so called “expertise.”
I refused to become that guy.
So, I compared the “best case” real estate scenario to the “worst case” freelancer scenario.
In Real Estate/Mortgage: Best case, I build a team of 4 people, the regulatory changes (this was 2007) don’t get worse, and I make $350k a year cruising through 30 million in loans or whatever. I’m stuck working 50 hours a week working to help my clients refinance, and I’ve gotta shephard a process I care little about.
That’s best case. I didn’t have the skill to build a team, nor the dream to get beyond the solo practitioner level. It would take a ton of work, and it would take new habits. I didn’t want to stay in the business for life, so I’d have this non-portable asset that wouldn’t be able to do shit for me if I left.
Worst Case, Freelancer: I fail. I don’t sell anything, and I go back to being a Mortgage Lender, or whatever having taken a title shot, and having missed. At least I tried, at least I did everything I could do. At least I gave it everything I had to give and took my shot, and wasn’t enough. Maybe I’d have to beg to catch on somewhere.
That was it.
That worst case? Not horrible. Not the end of the world. The Best Case? Not bad, but not a dreamlife. Congratulations, you’re mediocre. Not really what I was into.
So, I left. I did some dumb things, some obtuse things. I made some mistakes, and I had some arrogance. But, it is so much better running things, it’s so much better being in control of my life, and choosing who I hang out with, on purpose than it is to do the safe thing.
Had I really resisted having friends see that I was downsizing, I’d not have been able to do what I did.
In a 2010 we’ll really see if I’ve built the skills to make it worth it, but it looks promising.
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Way to be. The life of the entrepreneur is empowering, and even if we sacrifice $ on the front end, we make up for it tenfold with the intangibles. I’m proud of ya.
Excellent post Chris. We are in the middle of the same kinda thing. We are moving from our house “one the river” to a home we can own free and clear. Downsizing in both status and square feet, but also downsizing our debt. I used to think having a mortgage was ok, but not anymore. We want to have zero debt.
Btw, I haven’t been here in a loooong while, but like the change of your blog to a cleaner look. -Joe :)
Chris-
Too much of new media, particularly blogging and twitter, is wasted on exactly the type of self-congratulating, narcissism and obfuscation to which this post provides a nice antithesis. I don’t respect people that don’t admit they’ve made mistakes, period. You’ve gone further than most in this regard, but I can only commend you for it. Keep up the honesty, and thank you.