From some point in an economics class when I was 19 years old, I decided and knew that I was going to be in business. I don’t know when it changed–when my aspirations went from being in politics to business, but I knew that that was my fate. I was attracted to salesmen, scumbags and morally deficient bad-asses that had the balls to strike out. I underestimated a lot of things, particularly how important frugality is.
But, all my life–there’s been some big damn excuse, mostly a self inflicted wound that stands between me and the “success” that I’ve always wanted. For the last two years…my internal narrative has been solving my IRS problem; paying down that staggering debt to the point where it’s manageable. “When I’m free of this tax monster, watch out world, I’m gonna kick some ass.” Yes, I’ve had the tax monster’s teeth on my femoral artery for years. But no, it’s not as bad as I’ve made it out to be and…
It’s been a convenient excuse for mediocrity. Something to abdicate me from having to show results. “Sure, I’ve pulled mediocre numbers, but,” insert somber sad music, “haven’t I done great considering my tax problems?” (No, not really, I’ve not even scratched the surface.)
Tax problems is a variable ($) that will get replaced with, “Weight problems, having 2 young children, having a wife in school, having a new career, moving west, still being in Columbus.” Whatever. Get it? There will always be something.
It’s all excuses. Let’s consider this: I’ve grossed $100k + 8 out of 10 years. And I have very little to show for it. That’s my fault. Stupidity, squandering, bad decisions. Over a million dollars has been through my coffers, and what has it gotten me? A negative net worth and tax debt. That’s not the IRS’s problem, that’s me failing to adapt to reality and letting my ego make the failures in my life someone else’s fault.
My mental narrative has then been, “just you wait till $event happens, then watch what I do.” But I can see it–now that the acute tax pressure is more or less relieved–that my mind is looking hard for the next excuse. Something will come up to abdicate me from having to pull results, the next thing to insulate me from the idea that I might be a second rate talent, a nobody. “Another bum from the neighborhood.”
Without slaying excuses, we can never know how good we are. Without slaying excuses, we’ll be in some sort of holding pattern that repeats the same dismal results ad infinitum. The tension and the dissonance will probably eat your soul if you let it.
What excuses have you put up to keep you from doing your best?
What things have you done that keeps you from being accountable for results?
What do you continue to do?
How will you stop it?
I’ll set an example: I’ve used the IRS bogeyman as an excuse to be flaky, to be broke and to be unaccountable for my results. I’m never going to mention that again. I’m putting that in my rear view and I’m going to do what I need to do.
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