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Peak Experiences: Why We Work So F#@%ing Hard.

February 18, 2009 By

[[I wrote this earlier this year on a blog I'm no longer maintaining.  I brought it over here because it's important that we bring it up.]]

The enduring memories that we have that we live for. The time we were able to push ourselves to run a marathon, to do our jobs better…peak experiences are why we’re alive. Some of ‘em are found at work. Some of the things that we live for are in our jobs, but some things have nothing to do with the loan business. Peak experiences leave us with a permanent mark, changing us for the better. And let’s be honest. Making money is fantastic, it’s fun, but it’s not an end-all be-all. Having an extra $600 bucks from a closing in your checking account isn’t the point.

…the freedom money allows is the point.

The reason we’re in this business is to fuel those peak experiences. That’s it. The reason we do what we do The picture you see is e on May 1 2008. I’m holding my brand new baby daughter, Ruby. A peak experience to be sure, she was born healthy and happy. Raising my son, shown on the right is the most joyful and important thing that I’ve done.

Not Every Peak Experience is found at work! The work that we do–even in the mortgage business–can make it so we can be around for more and more peak experiences. If we are ALWAYS having things that change us for the better, exposing ourselves, pressing ourselves, and doing whatever we can to have new and better experiences…life becomes a fulfilling playground of wonder and joy. And that’s what L.O.S.T is all about. I created a program that was going to give you more Peak Experiences.

Know Your Peak Experiences

Often, the worry about money, the worry about ego driven “junk” can hide from us what the peak experiences we’re after really are. We elevate other things that don’t matter, and we strive for stuff that doesn’t really make us tick because we think we oughta have it. Some people who don’t care about cars buy a Mercedes. Some people that don’t care about houses buy a big house. These decisions are made because they do what others do, they don’t take JUST a moment to figure out and connect with what really turns them on.

The business planning that we do at Loan Officer Survival Training STARTS with YOUR peak experiences. We anchor how you spend your day in such a way that you always are weeks away from what could be a peak experience.

Sometimes peak experiences cost (i.e. Christmas shopping in Manhattan), and you need to arrange your budget to include them. Sometimes, Peak Experiences don’t cost much at all (taking my kid to the park, playing baseball with him). The point is, we need to have a peak experience to look forward to.

What If I Don’t Know What My Peak Experiences Are?

Be adventurous. Try new things. What might your peak experiences be? What do you think you’ve always wanted to try to learn? Don’t think about what other people are doing–what turns YOU on?

What are the best memories that you have?

What things do you want MORE of in your life?

What things do you want to have in your life?

What is going great right now?

Spend some time thinking about this–how can other people be served by your peak experiences?

You’ll come across goals that really charge you and really turn you on when you’re always asking the question: what next?

A List of Peak Experiences

To help you get started, here is a List Of Peak Experiences.

  1. Shopping in New York City
  2. Paying off A credit card
  3. Running a 5k
  4. Running a Marathon
  5. Being completely debt free.
  6. Being recognized as #1 in your office.
  7. Starting a scholarship fund in your community.
  8. Competing in an Iron Man Triathalon
  9. Giving Money To Church.
  10. Completing A Course on Being a Public Speaker
  11. Running in a Road Race.
  12. Making amends with family members
  13. Buying a Sports Car
  14. Performing our Art in front of a good audience.
  15. Getting the recognition of our peers.
  16. Getting in world class shape.
  17. Reading 500 books.
  18. Learning a new language.
  19. Renewing wedding vows.
  20. Taking a month long vacation
  21. Meeting a famous mentor
  22. Helping a famous mentor.
  23. Creating a new church program
  24. Quitting Smoking.
  25. Going to Mardi Gras.
  26. Going to a World Series Game
  27. Teaching your child baseball.
  28. Re-finishing family heirloom furniture.
  29. Becoming an expert in a sport or game
  30. Getting an article published in a magazine.

This List of peak experiences is just few things–but they come in a wide variety of things. What are your peak experiences? Let me know in the comments!

Filed Under: Achieving Goals, Business Building, Start Here Tagged With: , ,

Authenticity, Radically Different…

December 16, 2007 By

Tim Ferris.

Bill Phillips.

Mike Ferry.

Scott Adams

Warren Buffett.

Mark Cuban.

Seth Godin

Phil Jackson

And Yes, Tiger Woods.

I have a long list of heroes. Of course, not everyone up there has totally defensible positions on everything, or perfect moral clarity. But, all of them–to a man–are radically different than the people around them. Tim Ferris works for 4 hours. Mike Ferry wants his people to work an honest schedule. Scott Adams writes goals 10x daily. Warren Buffet shops at JC Penny. Mark Cuban sells companies. The dissonance in that list is astonishing.

The Same Behaviors Yield the Same Results.

I’ve got some things I want to accomplish in a relatively short period of time. And right now? I’m doing the same shit ad infinitum. The pull of this society to become mediocre and to conform is the biggest obstacle to progress–which is made by the efforts of individuals. Your peers are probably listless losers. Why emulate them?

I’m not saying to be cruel, but why have more involvement than is necessary with people that are stuck in this world? If you want to make incremental change, people will push you into the hole that they see you in with sarcasm, rejection of the goal (why would anyone want to do that), and all sorts of ad hominem attacks on you (you’ve never done this, why is this time different). People are risk adverse mealy mouthed pack animals, and to be like them is to short change the life you can create.

Don’t Let Anyone Vomit On Your Soul.

Being alone isn’t necessary the lot, but it’s gotta be an acceptable outcome. Needing people to praise you is an insidious control that allows us all to self censor our best contributions. Ryan Holiday recently mused that if his parents were an obstacle to his progress, then even they won’t be permitted to screw with your head. I agree. Bo Jackson said you can’t be a man if you allow other men to tell you how to think.

I had my Damascus experience. I am marginally different than everyone around me. I stand at my desk at work (because I get more done). I blog. But those things? They don’t get me closer to my big damn goals. I’ve got a lifestyle that consumes income, I’m working in an industry that’s imploding.

To be radically different and to seperate yourself from the pack, you gotta commit to radical change. And to hell with anyone that doesn’t agree. My guess is that you’ll attract people that are in sync, and that are making their own pack.

More tomorrow. My mind is full….and I need to see if I can sleep for a few hours.

Filed Under: Achieving Goals, Start Here Tagged With: , , , ,

Lesson #1 from Joe Paterno: “Potential Ain’t Worth S#!t.”

September 24, 2007 By
joepa-sidebar

[Note: Joe Paterno wasn't a great example of whatever. I'm sorry I mentioned him, as he  was a cultural reference.]

Joe Paterno is credited with saying that about a linebacker he took a pass on….according to legend, JoePA didn’t see him as a worker. And, apparently, JoePa was right because the dude had physical skills but became a Juco washout. (Note: I originally heard that story at one of the Mike Ferry events I attended, and it seems to fit with the rest of the stuff I learned about Joe.  However, Mike has a habit of…well, not telling the truth.)

Joe’s right. Potential Ain’t Worth Shit.

Let’s take another example. Penny Hardaway and Michael Jordan were both supremely gifted athletes. Both could do AMAZING things with the basketball. Both had massive injuries… early in their career. One was a coach killer, one was “That rarest of all–the supremely talented over achiever.” Michael outworked absolutely everyone around him on his way to 6 championships. Penny blamed his coach, his teammates….and wound up pissing away more talent than 99.9997% of the people that have ever competed in game of basketball.

Potential Ain’t Worth Shit.

I have always been–everywhere–earmarked for great things. From kindergarten on, it’s been expected of me that I’d climb/rise. until now–I’ve never really been on the path to do much with my life. Mostly because I’ve been committed to being uncommitted. I’ve fed my ego with the idea that if it’s not this…it’d be something else that I could do.

When I was a Realtor, I was “too good” to be a Realtor. I was not one of them. I was above them, and I won awards, but it was an easy job “a monkey could do.” Yes, I had a built in excuse not to sell out for my job. I was in the top 5%, making an easy six figures every full year I was in it–but everyone was shocked that I didn’t get into that top 1% area (which makes fringe pro athlete dough), and further shocked when I limped out of the business, fatter and burnt out.

Now I sell mortgages, my job has been a “stepping stone” merely for me to coach, to train, to start my own company. I never fully engaged myself in what I was doing…so I’ve had a built in out any time I wanted one. I’m not just “some lame-o mortgage broker…” I’m a future business owner, and why should I engage my considerable talents on this business?

When I was at GW, I was graduating in a year, regardless, so I never applied myself.

When I was at Otterbein , I was getting ready to transfer to GW, so I didn’t have to work that hard.

When I was in the Army Reserve, that wasn’t going to be my career.

Now that I’m fat, I comfort myself with the fact that I’ve been here before, taken the weight off before, and any time I really want to, things will be OK.

We all have built in excuses to fail, to screw up. Our parents to and peers were let us off the hook. In our culture, nothing is ever “our fault.” Now, I’m 31, and I’ve never t hit on all cylinders for very long. I’ve had myself committed to being uncommitted. That way, I never measure myself against anyone.

Most people are Just resting on Imaginary Laurels!
That’s all it is, man, and people do it all the time. You have to earn the position you’re in day by day, moment by moment. You’ve gotta engage yourself, to see how far you can go. Accept the fact that you’re always gonna have people left that are luckier, smarter, richer, more equipped than you. Get over that–let your ego go, and then spend the time maimizing YOUR talent.

“And to whomsoever much is given, of him shall much be required” Luke 12:48

If you’re reading this, you’re in the “much is given category.” You’ve got intellect, you understand a lot. You’re going to either make ultimate use of your talents…or you’re going to waste them. Your ego can be a bitch. It’s easier–mentally–to be disengaged from your life, to wear the “gen-x” slacker/underachiever mantle. It’s easier to scoff at people.

When I was a Realtor, I heard the most astonishing comment as I was separating myself from the people in the Bullpen by having results…”If all I did was sell houses all day, I’d have 4 listings, too.” All that she did was order pizza, and that’s why she beat me to 250 pounds…

I’m not saying be a workaholic. What I’m saying is that in your job, when you work 40 hours, put a passionate 40 hours in. Be engaged in–and committed to–what you’re doing. When you’re with your family, ENGAGE. If you’re going to do something, do it balls out…to the best of your ability.

Don’t Scoff, Don’t Pretend important things don’t matter.

It’s the way of our world to scoff and sneer. It’s WAY easier than it is to really get after it. It’s way easier mentally to make excuses, but it’s never the right way to do things.

My life is my fault, and my creation. I’ve been given a certain amount of ability, but why blame others for the things that are wrong?

It’s my fault that I’m fat.

It’s my fault I’ve never had a book published.

It’s my fault that I’m not a millionaire.

It’s my fault that I’ve never accumulated wealth (or given any money to any noble pursuits).

It’s also…

It’s my fault that I don’t live in a trailer park.

It’s my fault that I have the skills and ethos…needed to earn 6 figures instantly and in any city in America.

We have been given an awesome freedom to create an awesome life for ourselves. To let our ego con us into thinking that we “could have what they have” if we don’t “do what they do,” is vain delusion. It’s easier to scoff at the successes of others than it is to succeed yourself. That’s ego, too.

SO….

  1. What areas in your life do you let yourself off the hook in?
  2. What mental crutches are holding you back?
  3. What is your best?
  4. How often do you get the adrenaline that comes from having done a GREAT job?
  5. Are you working in your dream field? Working towards working in your dream field?
  6. Or working on excuses to let yourself off the hook?
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