How Do You Harness Uncertainty?

chris — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:03:27 +0000

Any day now, I’ll be out of the worst part of IRS collections. Any day now, I’ll be done and the IRS will acknowledge that my total outstanding liability is under $25,000. And any day, I’ll be no longer subject to weekly calls with a revenue officer hunting down my status. I’ve come a long way. I started out owing over $91,000 just to them. So there’s some pride there. My number say I owe $23,900. Their numbers will undoubtedly be different by a smidgen, but I continue to pay weekly to them to get that debt out of my hair.

The uncertainty though is hard to contend with. Look, the bottom line is that they are gonna put me on some type of payment plan. Most likely it’ll be $500 a month, far, far less than what I’ve been paying. That will be a relief, cash flow wise. I’ll be able to breathe a little and relax.

But it’s not known. It could be another month of the same old ‘report to the revenue officer.’ It could be that my 2005 returns are wanting, and they want more info that I’ll have a hard time supplying. It could be that they are gonna say I owe more. Anything is possible.

Tom Petty says that the waiting is the hardest part.

Dealing with the weight is a wait and a distraction I don’t know–quite how to process. On the one hand, it’ll either be good news or no news.

But the waiting is the hardest part.

I am mentally having a hard time with it. I know that one of the biggest joys of my life is coming in about 6 months when I write that final “F-off” check to the IRS. I want that to happen this year, in 2009, in the heart of the recession. But the distraction of the maybe is something that the linear part of me can’t deal with. I’m having a difficult time focusing on my lists & tasks.

I know–a little bit–what it’s like to have a loved one with a grim prognosis. The uncertainty kills. It’s part of the reason why mortgage brokers got so much money. They bore the burdens of financial uncertainty along with their clients. I’ll let you all know what happens, it’ll be sometime in July that the finish line will honestly and actually be in sight. That I’ll be able to dash for it, and get the merciless evil that is the IRS out of our life.

Then I’ll work on the rest of my debt.

Miles to go, but I see the path at least.

More later. Cutting some videos for thesis blogs.

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How Do You Harness Uncertainty?