in Achieving Goals

Must We All Be “Killing It?”


I’m an upbeat guy. I have kept at it for years, as an entrepreneur. Sometimes I feel like I’m about to hit the big time, sometimes I feel like I’m over the hill and toast.

That’s normal. Mostly, I feel like I’m going to hit it, that this year, I’ll knock ‘em out and inhabit my potential.

Thing is, that’s only most of the time. These days, there is such a bias towards positivity that if you say you had a bad day out loud people give you those pitying looks.

But the thing is: it’s hard. Of course it’s hard. It was always hard and it’s always gonna be hard. Building something from nothing takes verve, moxie, restraint, patience, balls, ignorance, knowledge, skill.

Some days it doesn’t go well.

And since we’re all social now, some days we vent. And the responses are so exhausting, “Wow, Chris, I thought everything was going so well for you.”

Because of one rough day, I get treated with the condescension reserved for frustrated six year olds or suicide attemptees.

Fundamentally, I’ve got a ton going for me.

I’m reasonably young (38). I’m smart, I’m strong. I have done everything a man can to ruin his body and I still have great health. I have great kids. I can close deals.

I can make something out of nothing.


Sometimes customers make things hard. Sometimes people fire me.

Sometimes I goof up and wind up on the wrong side of a deadline.

Sometimes stuff happens.

I don’t want to have to say “I’m killing it,” to avoid the perception of failure.

But it seems that I do because of inflation.

Gestures (A Brief Rant About Client Service)


A lot of client work can be made better by simple gestures.

You have to acknowledge and empathize in advance their issues. It’s not enough to be technically correct in your position – it could be an unfortunate circumstance that means that there is a delay, or something is less than optimal.

But the way you say it is everything, and it’s so much harder than it looks.

The Wrong Way To Handle Things

The way that places like Comcast/Best Buy deal with it is to admit nothing. Stonewall. They say things like “I’m sorry you feel that way,” or “I understand you’re upset,” as a front-line, catch all response to any circumstance.

At best, these phrases are disingenuous. A phrase like “I see you’re upset,” doesn’t really share empathy. It’s become more of a gas-lighting response to issues.

The Right Way To Deal With Customer Service Issues

So there are going to be issues that come up on a regular basis with most companies – even good ones – will have failures of effort, systems or even communication.

If you do 200 + projects, each of which has 100+ touchpoints,, then you’ve got 20,000 instances. You’ll misfire on a few.

First, don’t go on trial. Sometimes customers are truely shitty people. They are sharpshooting everything because they are (a) antsy, or (b) they’ve been burned. Or (c) an expectation that was unspoken was not met.

Trying to get them to vindicate you – in your eyes – isn’t useful. Rarely will you stand your ground and suddenly convince them of your point of view. Even if you succeed 10% of the time, 90% of the time you’ve pissed them off. This is a tough part of the issue, but it’s an economic decision. They will often make narcissistic and obtuse self-centered remarks.

Generally, it’s best to simply ignore that nonsense.

Second: tell them what to expect – and stick to it. And tell them what to expect after that, too. Sweeping it under the rug (i.e. a missed deadline that goes unspoken) isn’t a respectful way to treat customers/vendors/partners. When you’re behind just tell the truth, acknowledging the deadline issues.

Third: restate their mutual expectations. This means that you have to salvage all you can. “Sorry we delivered in red! I know you wanted blue. We can get red Monday at 4 if nothing goes wrong. I’ll call you monday morning to confirm we’re on track.

Then a question: as long as we do that, does that work for you?

An ounce of Prevention
People are generally reasonable and patient.

Even when they don’t call you on it, they know what happened. They aren’t dumb, but they don’t call you on everything.

Meaning: when you aren’t acting exactly correctly, you expose yourself to a customer service debt. That sometimes can get wiped out by overdelivery in the product (i.e. Apple has crappy customer service, but nobody minds because shiny). But only sometimes. What generally happens is an overreaction to the one thing that pushed them over the edge.

A scenario:
-your contract needs to be sent twice. Because the first version didn’t have all the details right.
-a scheduled call is 5 minutes late. Mild annoyance but nobody says anything.
-a delivery has a typo somewhere. Easily corrected. unspoken.
-you’re sick one day – the flu
-an email has a bunch of irrelevant information on it that the customer doesn’t care about. Noted.
-client is sick and can’t get back to you.

Nothing bad happens for a week or two. Then there’s a more substantial situation happens, say, a milestone slips, a detail is missed.

Then there is a disproportional client response. To the one detail.

Because they aren’t reacting to that detail at all. , they are reacting to everything – all at once- but they may only be talking about one issue at a time.

Things don’t happen in isolation.  People don’t just wake up mad-  when they hired you they had high hopes.

The solution is to make impeccable the new baseline. And it’s not complicated to do that. You just have to be realistic about your commitments, both internally and externally.

Do you even focus, bro?


You wanted this, didn’t you?

Yes, but I didn’t think it would be this hard.

Well, what did you think?

I don’t know. Well, that I guess I could just cruise by on talent and pontification.  Running a business by answering Quora questions.

HA. You thought that? And how old are you?

38. Man, I just didn’t know.

How dare you. What made you think it would be easy?

It’s so easy for everyone. Their facebook pictures are white linen families, gourmet paleo dinners and likes.

Do you even focus, bro?

Man, I don’t know. It’s so hard sometimes. There are all these conversations happening.

Conversations. You mean the circle jerk that is TwitBook? Like they’ll miss you when you go.

Oh, they will. They all wait for what GenuineChris has to say. They are just dying to hear from me.

Answer me this, tough guy, how many projects you get offa facebook this year?

2. Just 2 so far.

MMm hmm. And how many projects you do?

About 60 projects, man. I like Facebook.

And Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Pinky Blinders. Civilization. Threes. You’re as bad as a cat with a red dot. Fucking focus.

But, look, I can’t work all the time.

Agreed. But are you even scratching the surface? Good parents, good brain, you got more than this, you son-of-a-bitch.

But see, I don’t get high fives when I do the boring shit. The sales calls, when I calm a project down or get someone to pay me. When I pay my people.

True enough. You get something else instead.

Money. I know.

Do you? You sure don’t act like it. Tell you what, you can send all your fucking retweets (and you’re not getting many anymore, are you) to Wells Fargo. See where that gets you.

OK. OK, I get it.

This year was hard man. Good people left my company.

I’m a fraud.

No, jackass. You’re not a fraud. You’re lazy. Just sometimes. Just when it gets hard.

You say that shit to yourself when you want a cop-out. You built Simplifilm. It wasn’t your first thing and it isn’t your last thing. But you only half built it. Because the rest of the work is scary. Of course they left. You weren’t all in.

Now stop talking to me, get back to work and finish your proposal, price sheet, & presentation. That stuff shoulda been done in June.


No Facebook, texting or twitter till they are all done. It’s 20 hours work, but you’ll earn in January. Now, go.

Just because they didn’t say anything


Just because they didn’t say anything doesn’t mean they didn’t notice.

They noticed you forgot to update them, you didn’t get them the email. They are aware that you missed the deadline. They are just polite. Making the best of a tough situation. Lectures don’t do any good.

We all do the same thing. They didn’t say a word about the fact that it was wrong/shabby/late or misshapen.

Nobody wants drama, but it happened.  So they pay their bill, they go on, and they quietly get you out of their lives.

The consequences to having a mediocre meal are indirect: we don’t complain to the staff. We just shake our heads, “what the hell has this world come to? Why bother if you don’t care…” and we walk out.

But they noticed, and you lost.  And that’s the hardest thing to understand. People expect lousy.  So it’s easy to exceed those expectations.  Everyone – just about – is an incompetent flake.

But they dream of competence. They yearn for it.  So instead of exceeding expectations – which have been pummeled by places like Chase and Comcast and Delta, let’s try and exceed their dreams.


Planning A Year (It Really Is This Simple)


So you’re doing business, selling something, whatever.

You want to plan a year.


Let’s show you how easy that is to plan:

Revenue (how much money you’ll earn).
Units sold (how many widgets you’ll sell)
Average Price (how you’ll get there).
Closing percentage:  (What percentage of leads you’ll close).
# of leads you need: (units/closing percentage i.e. 100 units /.50 if you are a 50% closer)
# of subscribers you need (someone on your mailing list – usually 1/10th of those become leads for agency businesses).
# of blog posts /whatever to create subscribers.

That’s it.  That’s the soup-to-nuts version of how you do this stuff.  It’s easy enough to plan.

When you sell different things, like “cheap things” and “expensive things,” you  may need to then recalibrate a little bit and probably have a list for each line in cases where averages won’t make sense (i.e. I sell both Maybachs and Hyundais.)

But that’s a year. Most people get addicted to the shiny and do nothing.

Better left unsaid

There are so many times when you want to indulge yourself. Lash out, say what you really thought about your friend/wife/lover/partner/co-worker.

You deserve to be heard.

But what good – really – does this ever do?  Is there a weepy moment where you both realize you were right?  Did that lecture *really* do anything?

All that happens is we feel a little better.  For a minute.  We sure told them.

Then the other person gets a turn to talk.

Then they get to sure tell us.  And where does it end? What’s to be gained? It’s bickering and we engage. We wind up justifying our own actions:

  • Oh, but it was different, see.
  • I grew up never to back down.
  • My situation wasn’t like that.
  • You don’t understand, what it was like.
  • It isn’t about the money it’s about the principle of it.

Really?  It’s not your ego?

Better to shape our world through actions. Restraint is hard.  It’s hard to have manners in the face of rudeness.

It’s it’s harder still not to engage when the barbs  that sting and the passive aggressive slights come. But it’s critical, man, to let that stuff bounce off your chest. Yeah, it wounds. But responding to it is almost always a bad idea.

When you are considering unloading, consider also:

  • Will I be able to have a relationship with this person if they continue to behave this way?
  • Is this a hill i’m willing to die on? (It’s fine to end relationships – even close ones – for meaningful matters. But just because someone is annoying or…)
  • What do I want the relationship to be like after I say these.

These are better questions. Better than “how can I make him understand.”  You can’t.

There is no apology coming. People are who they are.

Covey said “seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

The first part was right. But the second part? Should have left that out of the seven habits.